In Which Grammy and Spurgeon have Tea

As I climb the steps, I can hear her call down, “Is that you, Shannie?” How many times have I scrambled up these steps? With my cousins to leave a note on the attic steps for the ghost-in-residence. To follow her up and watch while she put her jewelry on – her choosing from those colorful clip-on earrings that always laid in the antique, mirrored tray. To help her with some project around the house – she taught me how to use newspaper to clean the windows one summer. To sit at the window and pepper her with questions about why I wasn’t allowed to go out onto the first-floor roof from there.

We’re not doing projects today. And, while I still think their attic is one of the most magical places on earth, there’s also no visit to the third floor. I’m just there to sit and chat while Grandad runs some errands and she gets going.

She’s slower in the mornings now. Her 90+ years are finally catching up with her and she just doesn’t move as fast anymore. Raised to be a strong, independent woman, she finds herself now in a season of dependence and I know it’s hard for her. In fact, I have to keep myself from doing things for her if she can still do them for herself. I wait while she takes her sweatshirt off even though I know I could do it faster for her.

The waiting is good though – in this world of fast-paced everything where the to-do list rules the day. Not so when I come see Grammy and Grandad. The slow pace forces me to just “see” her. Not for what she can do but for who she IS. This beloved woman who has been through so much in her life. She is a treasured storehouse of memories and moments and musings. And, because there is no real agenda to our time, she just talks about whatever comes to mind. In one moment, she is showing me how she rolls up her sweatshirt every morning and lays it on her shelf. In the next, she is sharing with me about the loving, sacrificial way Grandad is caring for her in this season of life. She pauses while a sweet smile plays across her face. Is that contentment I see? And, in another moment, her reflection turns to Spurgeon. “He says that it’s easy to forget God when we are satisfied here on earth. I sure know that I’m talking to God more than ever these days. I know how much I need Him just to have the strength to walk across the room. I think Spurgeon was right, you know. He had such insights.”

And just like that our conversation turns to heaven and how Spurgeon is already there. Face-to-face with his Lord. And what a joy that must be after serving God so faithfully all those years. And, I’m mindful that she’ll likely be joining Spurgeon there sooner than later. And I let my mind drift to wondering if these two might cross paths there – Grammy and Spurgeon having tea while she tells him how his writings brought her comfort and reflection during her twilight years. I dare to express the thought to her and she laughs. “Just maybe…” she ponders aloud.

I can’t stay all day. She wouldn’t want me to because she likes her space and has her routines to get to. But, these moments fill me up in ways that surprise me. As I lean down to kiss the top of her snowy white head, a rush of gratitude envelopes me – not just for all the years she has cared for all of us but for this moment right now.

I’m not sure how often I am truly, fully present in the moment but this is definitely one of those times.