Shannon S. McKee

musings and moments

Getting Practical: 2 Tips For a Better Quiet Time

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As I come out of the last 15 months of pandemic living, I’m doing a lot of reflecting and reevaluating. You’d think that with all the extra time we had (because so many things were cancelled), that our inner lives would be stellar now. But, I’m not so sure they really area. Therapists tell us that people simply are not OK. This pandemic has been hard on us. And like any traumatic experience, it’s going to take some intentional thought and reflection to get back to healthy rhythms.

One of those important rhythms is spending regular time meditating on God’s words to us in the Bible and then talking to Him about those words through journaling or praying. At some point in history, people started calling that time a “quiet time” or a QT. I suppose that is as good a name as any. But it’s also OK if your quiet time is actually loud. The point is not so much what you call it but that you are building this important rhythm into your life. As with any relationship it’s important to spend time with God – listening to Him through His Word and sharing your own heart with Him through prayer and/or journaling.

Since our women just started a new Bible study for the summer at my church, I thought I’d take a couple of posts to talk about quiet times and how to make them happen.

For today, I’ve got two very practical, logistical suggestions.

  1. Pick a time that works for your schedule.

An important step in making quiet time a daily habit is that you pick a time that works with your schedule. That might be at 6:30 am, before the kids wake up, or it might be at mid-day over lunch, or it might be before bed. Too often, we try to imitate what works for someone else and then we end up discouraged because we don’t stick with it. Don’t pick 5:30 a.m. because your friend picked 5:30 a.m. Pick a time that works with your season of life and your preferences. Are you a morning person or do you come alive at night? Are you an extrovert who is going to struggle to have quiet time if others are around to talk to? Do you have young kids who nap? Do you have a roommate you have to schedule around?

If you are not sure where daily regular time could fit into your schedule, here are some ideas that you might like to try out:

  • in the morning before the kids wake up
  • before going to bed at night
  • over breakfast (if you’re with tiny humans, give them something to work on)
  • for half-an-hour after supper
  • during lunch, or for 15 minutes after lunch
  • while your little people are napping/playing games/doing homework/watching TV/having quiet time
  • at the park
  • while the kids are playing in the backyard
  • on a break at work
  • in the car while waiting in a carpool line
  • on the sidelines while a kiddo is at practice

There are so many little chunks of time that you can reclaim and use to get intentional time with God! I have found that some of these chunks of time get stolen by scrolling on my phone UNLESS I am intentional to do otherwise.

  1. Have a plan.

But how do you make the most of that time in a structured, easy-to-follow, and sustainable way? Right now, the women at our church are studying the book of Jude for the summer so I’ll write as if I’m giving advice to one of them. Translate it into your own world.

Here is a super simple way to structure your time with God:

  1. Have all your stuff in one place: your Jude workbook, your Bible or Bible app, your dictionary, a journal (if you use one), and a favorite pen or pencil. Collect all of it and keep it all together in one place – maybe even put it in a basket or tote bag – so that it’s easy to grab. Never let yourself grab THAT pen or let one of the other people in your home borrow from that basket. If you set aside 15 minutes to meet with God, you don’t want to spend 5 of those minutes hunting down your stuff. One other random thing that I would include in this basket is a notepad for jotting down all the random things that come to your mind that would distract you from staying engaged. Just jot things there and move right back to reading your Bible or journaling.
  2. If it’s helpful for you, find a cozy spot. I’m all about the cozy so I like to have my tea, light a candle, and settle into a good chair. That might not matter as much to you. Or, you might be squeezing your quiet time in while tiny humans run around you or while you’re on your lunch break at work. So, take it with a grain of salt and work it in if you want. We’re all different and that’s OK too! You don’t HAVE to do what I do. But, if it helps you to engage, by all means, make your space cozy!
  3. Take a few moments at the beginning to quiet your mind. Put down your phone. Turn off any distractions. Take 3 deep breaths.
  4. Pray. It’s always good to start here and acknowledge your dependence on Him. Remember WHO you’re reading about and talking to. Thank Him for being a God who speaks and for inviting us into relationship with Him. Ask Him for insight. Ask Him to help you connect with Him and not just go through the motions.
  5. Try reading the scripture for the day out loud. It’s a super helpful practice. And, in this particular study of Jude, it’s usually only a verse or two.
  6. Follow the directions and trust the workbook’s author to lead you through a format for the day. Even if her question seems silly or obvious (or a waste of time) to you, give it a shot. You might learn a new skill or be surprised what you see by just doing it.
  7. Pray and/or journal. Reflect back on what you learned. Talk to God about it again. Doing both would be great if you have the time!
  8. If you’re a verbal processor, follow-up by talking about it with your spouse or a friend. This doesn’t have to be a long convo. Maybe just a few moments of sharing. It doesn’t even have to be profound or new. Maybe it’s just reaffirming something you already knew about God. The point is that you get your thoughts and reflections about God out of your brain and into your world.

In the coming days, I’d like to share some of my favorite tools and approaches for Bible study, journaling, and praying. Hopefully it will help you to establish (or REestablish) this important rhythm in your own life. Meeting with God is so foundational as it affects all the other things we do and how we think. But it also, often, is an area of shame and defeat for Christians. I’d love to be a voice that still calls you to invest in this most-important relationship without attaching shame and failure to the struggle that is sometimes there. Being with your God is good for you: body, mind, heart, and soul. He created you as an integrated whole such that your times with Him will impact each of those areas of life. Sometimes, the thing holding you back is bigger than a few practical tips. But, let’s try to tackle the easy stuff first and see if regrouping or trying a new approach doesn’t help you move into this important rhythm.

In addition to some of my tips here, there is a really great resource that our pastors put together on our church web site  The link for that is here: https://redemptionchapel.com/meet/. 

 

When Duty Becomes Delight: Lessons from Dessert

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I want you to take a sec and think about your most favorite dessert. I’m not talking about prepackaged cookies from the Keebler elves. I’m talking about real dessert. Maybe more like something from the Mockingbird Bakery in Kent.

You know how it is when you’re having a really good dessert, right?

You savor every bite. Let it dissolve on your tongue as you enjoy every bit of flavor. And, then when you’re on the last bite, you feel a mixture of sadness and delight. Sadness because the whole experience is about to be over. Delight because it was rich and delicious and everything you had hoped it would be. The indulgence makes your heart happy.

That’s how I feel about Tiramasu. And Baklava. And quality dark chocolate… with fresh strawberries. And Graeter’s Rasberry Chocolate Chip Ice Cream.

And the Bible.

Whaaaaat?

You see, too often we think about the Bible like we think about brussel sprouts (you may insert some other hated vegetable if you’re a lover of these tiny cabbage-like greens; I don’t mean to offend). We know it’s good for us and that we should probably have our daily dose. The Bible IS that. It’s sustenance. But, it’s also delight. Sadly, the truth is that we don’t really savor it that way. We don’t anticipate it. Rather, like a picky child at the dinner table, we pinch our noses and choke it down until the next day when we’ll have to do it all again. Usually accompanied by a heavy side of guilt.

I want you to know that it doesn’t have to be this way. It wasn’t for King David. For this warrior-poet, God’s Word was more like eating dessert. Here’s what he said about it in Psalm 19:

The law of the LORD is perfect, converting the soul: the testimony of the LORD is sure, making wise the simple. The statutes of the LORD are right, rejoicing the heart: the commandment of the LORD is pure, enlightening the eyes. The fear of the LORD is clean, enduring for ever: the judgments of the LORD are true and righteous altogether.

More to be desired are they than gold, yes, than much fine gold: sweeter also than honey and the honeycomb. Moreover by them is thy servant warned: and in keeping of them there is great reward.

After reading David’s praise of God’s words, do you get the sense that he was choking them down out of duty? No way! For David, it was his delight to take them in and let them transform his life!

Why? Because they restore the soul, make wise the simple, rejoice the heart, and enlighten the eyes.

Sweet friends, stop making your Bible a symbol of guilt and obligation! It’s not. It was never meant to be. Is it good for us? Yes. Should we read it regularly and apply ourselves to studying it? Yes. Do we have to read it? Yes. Another place in scripture calls it our daily bread – so, yes, there is certainly a sense in which HAVE to have it. But, only if we want to LIVE!

What a shame that we have made it so much more like eating brussel sprouts and less like feasting on something rich and decadent.

Why do we DO that? Is it that we’ve allowed ourselves to become satisfied with a steady diet of prepackaged Keebler crap so we feel full? Is it that our tastebuds have become dull and we just don’t know good food anymore? Maybe we just don’t remember how great a good piece of Baklava can taste? Is it that we’ve busied ourselves with so much other stuff that we’re really not “alive.” Oh, we look like we’re alive. But we’re really parched and dry and malnourished because we’re wasting away inside. Is it because we don’t think the dessert will be yummy? Maybe we’ve been duped into thinking it will be gross and cardboardy.

Probably a little bit of all of the above.

Could we try feasting? Because I don’t want to have dull tastebuds or eat prepackaged cookies or settle for wasting away. Or miss the good stuff because I thought it was cardboard. None of those sound appealing. Maybe lets try David’s approach.

David says that God’s Word is sweeter than honey.

We don’t really appreciate this illustration because we have sugar. But only recently in man’s history (mid-19th century) did sugar become affordable to the average Westerner. Prior to then, it was a very expensive luxury. I know that’s hard to believe because now it’s in EVERYTHING we eat. But it was once highly valued. And honey even more so because it’s twice as sweet as sugar and has healing properties. It was often used as a form of currency or as a tribute or offering. It was something to be prized and savored.

For just a moment, I want you to imagine honey just dripping off the honeycomb. Fresh, pure honey. Imagine a kid, sitting in a meadow with it – taking a big, sloppy lick right off the honeycomb.

Now, I want you to go pick up your Bible. And ask God to help you feel the same way about it. Rehearse David’s Words. Shout them back to God with reckless abandon.

Oh God, YOUR law is perfect, converting my soul: YOUR testimony is sure, making wise the simple. YOUR statutes are right, rejoicing my heart: YOUR commandment is pure, enlightening my eyes. YOUR fear is clean, enduring for ever: YOUR judgments are true and righteous altogether.

More to be desired are they than gold, yes, than much fine gold: sweeter also than honey and the honeycomb. If I keep them there is great reward.

I don’t know about you, but I’ve needed this reminder lately. COVID-19 really threw me off – I haven’t been very consistent in getting time with God in His Word. Every time I think about this, I feel guilty. Like I’m failing at my duties. I’m asking God to transform my perspective and draw me to His Words with joy. After all, His Words are a reflection of His heart and what is more beautiful and worthy than that?

Have I Ever Introduced You to Emily?

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Have you ever had one of those experiences where you read a line from a book or heard a speaker say something and it just resonated? Like you felt like they were saying the thing you’ve been trying to say but couldn’t quite put to words? And when they said it, your heart sort of leaped? And then you became certain that if you ever got to meet said person in real life, that you’d be bosom friends? As in the Anne of Green Gables kind of bosom friends?

That’s how I feel about Emily P. Freeman. I started reading her stuff years ago. It must have been back when blogging was just getting popular. I think I even heard her speak at a blog conference during that period. Something about the way she expresses things just resonates with me. I like her insight, her way with words, her humility, and her warmth. I like that she weaves words together well but that she’s not extra wordy. That she is studied but not stuffy. I like that she knows Jesus as Lord, of course, but also as friend. I think there’s a real intimacy in her relationship with Him that is attractive. I also like that she knows she has valuable stuff to offer the world but that she doesn’t take herself too seriously. Many are the podcast episodes in which she pokes fun at herself.

The best way to sum it up is probably to say that, when I read her blog or one of her books or listen to her podcast, I leave refreshed. Like I just took in a bit of fresh air.

Her podcast (The Next Right Thing) this week about COVID-19 was about naming the things we’re feeling during this time. In my humble opinion is was a perfect message for this unsettling season – better than any encouragement I could give you myself. I’d love it if you go over and give it a listen. Her podcasts release every Tuesday and are always short (10 to 15 minutes). They are both reflective and practical. I think you’ll find this week’s well worth your time… and, let’s be honest, what else are you doing? You could use the break from binge watching Netflix, right?

Let me just wet your whistle with this thought from her yesterday…

In this time of uncertainty, it’s okay to grieve the endings even though others may have it a lot worse. This is a time to name the places where we are beginning, middling and ending, and then to allow others the space to do the same… This is not the time to look too far into the future or try to predict outcomes. This is not a time to think in terms of months or weeks or even days. This is a time to name what remains unnamed within us and then to ask ourselves, what is our next right thing in the next 10 minutes? – Emily P. Freeman

I love her permission to name the things. And her wisdom on how best to do that.

If you find that you enjoy her tone and perspective as much as I do, her book The Next Right Thing is free right now in ebook form if you have Amazon Prime.

Here’s the link to the podcast episode that I quoted above : The Next Right Thing Podcast, Episode 120. You can also subscribe to it in all the usual ways if you’d rather listen to it on your phone. I listen to it “on the regular”.

Cultivating Gratitude During a Pandemic

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Joy is always possible as long as thanks is possible — and there is always, always, always something to be thankful for. ~ Ann Voskamp

As news started to break about the CoVid-19 pandemic last week, I could feel an ache rising in my soul. Not so much a fear of the virus itself but a deep, down ache for all of the ripples that I could see happening around me. For the people whose livelihoods would suffer greatly during the days of quarantine. For my daughter whose Senior Year is being thrown into oblivion without warning. For the singles in our church family for whom social distancing might mean going home to an empty house. For the recovering addicts in our church who rely (in part) on accountability and staying busy to help them stay sober. For the people who are quarantined with an abuser instead of loving family. For the nonprofits and churches who will surely see a dip in being able to provide their usual services. For the people who are afraid or at risk. For the young bride who is deciding what to do about her May wedding celebration. For the many servant-minded nurses I know who are on the front lines of this. For my shepherd-hearted pastor husband who is adding this to his list of “things they don’t teach you at seminary.”

The burden feels heavy. At one point in the week, the weight of trying to process all of those situations was overwhelming to me. Like I could feel it in my body and I was shutting down. People tell me that it’s because I’m a bit of an empath. I don’t know why it took me these many years into my adult life to understand that about myself but, there you have it.

spiritual formation gratitude journalWhat I do know is that my way forward out of that funk is to regroup and refocus. I can make a choice: dwell on the hard things and bear that burden myself OR look to the One who holds all things in His hands and is in the business of making all things new. I can acknowledge the hurt and the suffering without letting it crush me. I can surrender. The circumstances of this pandemic are not within my control. Often times, we think we’re in control when we’re really not. With this one, there isn’t even a little pretense of control. I don’t like these circumstances, but I have no ability to control them and they are unlikely to change in the near future. But what I can control is my response to the circumstances. I can look for God’s gifts in the midst of these difficult days. I can recall the beautiful things about my God in His Word and offer Him praise for His unchanging, steadfast character. I can remember all the past gifts and faithfulnesses – He has been giving good gifts to a stubborn and rebellious people for thousands of years. I can look forward to a God whose mercies are new every single morning. New day. New Mercies. Same faithful God.

So, I revived a practice that I had done years ago when Ann Voskamp’s book One Thousand Gifts came out – counting the gifts in a journal. I guess I never totally stopped doing it… but I wasn’t nearly as faithful and I certainly wasn’t intentionally writing them down anywhere. Life and ministry have been hard these last 10 years or so. I was surviving but not always thirving. And, somewhere in there, purposefully counting gifts just sort of slipped off the radar.

About a month ago, God brought it back to mind as I was preparing to speak at a weekend retreat on Joy. And, then a week ago when I was feeling the weight of things shutting down in Ohio, He nudged me to lead our Redemption Chapel women to do the same thing.

And, just like that, we were having an impromptu Redemption Chapel Women’s Ministry Week of Thanksgiving. Each day I sent them a new prompt, a verse about thankfulness, and shared a tiny bit of my heart. Right there amidst of all the stupid memes and slanted news and political maneuvering and scary updates, in our little corner of the internet, a group of 300 or so women “gathered” to recount the gifts. New ones every day. And it was beautiful. In my mind’s eye, I imagine that it was like a big bowl of incense wafting up to God – offered on the altar of our lives in worship to Him.

The official “week of Thanksgiving” is over but I’m encouraging our women to continue on their own. Because this is a good practice. Not only does it glorify our God but it is GOOD FOR US. The science backs it up. The habit of intentionally cultivating gratitude and recalling it can help you: feel less depressed, stir up positive emotions, sleep better, reduce stress, express more compassion and kindness, and even have stronger immune systems. Doing it consistently actually reprograms your brain and makes it easier to see the gifts as a way of life – not just when you’re in crisis mode but all the time. Go figure – looking to and giving thanks to the Giftgiver is good for our souls… hmmm.

Maybe you’ll join us?

If you’re having trouble getting the gratitude muscle moving and you need some help, Ann Voskamp’s book is a gem. Her website also has a Joy Dare which gives you prompts each month for keeping your gratitude list. I have also heard wonderful things about Jennie Allen’s new book, Get Out of Your Head. (I haven’t read it myself yet so I’m giving it a tentative endorsement based on other reviewers I trust.)

If you just want to get started without links or books, here are some potential journaling prompts that might help get you thinking:

  • Something that made you smile today
  • A Simple pleasure
  • Something funny that made you laugh
  • Your favorite thing when you wake up in the morning
  • Something you are good at doing
  • An accomplishment you’re proud of
  • What did you enjoy the most today?
  • A favorite place you like to visit
  • An act of kindness someone showed you
  • A gift that is particularly meaningful
  • A book you are grateful for reading
  • What weather are you grateful for today?
  • Modern inventions you are thankful for
  • Something you take for granted
  • Favorite things you like about your job or work
  • Something you learned about recently
  • Someone who made a positive difference in your life
  • A favorite activity you enjoy doing
  • Day of the week – What’s your favorite thing about Mondays? Fridays? The Weekend?
  • Favorite websites you are grateful for
  • Favorite author, artist, or musician
  • Something that makes your life easier
  • Favorite food you enjoy
  • Something you use every single day
  • Something you appreciate in nature
  • Something you wear that makes you feel good {clothes, jewelry, makeup, etc.}
  • Something that keeps you warm
  • Something that helps you relax
  • Something that you’re looking forward to
  • Something that you have today that you didn’t have a year ago
  • A happy memory
  • Someplace you’ve been
  • Something about your body or health
  • Something or someone that makes you feel safe
  • A way you are able to help other
  • A friend
  • A teacher or mentor
  • A tradition
  • A mistake or failure

Here’s to counting the gifts together – even in the midst of uncertainty.

Grace and peace to you as you do.