Shannon S. McKee

musings and moments

Pausing to Consider the Rich and Varied Faces of Mother’s Day

May 11, 2019 by Shannon 6 Comments

As we head into a weekend that might be a mixture of emotions for you, I want to offer this reminder that you are seen and loved. God knows… 

Maybe Mother’s Day makes you sad because you’re mourning a mom who has died. 

Maybe Mother’s Day is hard for you because you’d like to have kids but you don’t (for all kinds of reasons and situations that I can’t even begin to name here in this small space). 

Maybe it’s a day of ache because your womb has known both life and loss and you miss those babes you barely knew. 

Maybe it’s a day filled with pain because your relationship with your own mom is strained. Maybe your mom just did a really horrible job of momming. 

Maybe it’s a day of pulling back in discouragement because your adult children have walked away or shut you out. 

Maybe Mother’s Day if filled with regret because you chose abortion and this day serves as a painful reminder.

Maybe you feel guilty because you do have kids but they’re driving you nuts in this season and you’re tapped out. But you feel like you shouldn’t be.

Maybe you come into Mother’s Day scared because you are swollen up huge and ready to burst with a new life but you’re overwhelmed or alone or feeling inadequate. 

Maybe you’re full of “what ifs” because you’re a mom who only held her baby for a moment before giving her as a gift to know another as mom. And sometimes you wonder about her. 

Of course, it’s also a day full of joy and honor for so many. Many of whom might celebrate today but have been somewhere on this list too. 

I love that our Jesus can acknowledge both. That rejoicing at motherhood doesn’t mean excluding those who haven’t experienced it or are saddened by it. No. It’s not all or nothing. Instead, we rejoice with those who rejoice and mourn with those who mourn. We enter in with one another because His grace is sufficient for all of it. For every sigh of contented delight AND for every tear cried in an empty rocker. 

We trust that He sees. He knows. He has taken on flesh and entered into it with us. That He is the Sovereign Lord in both the mourning and the rejoicing. And that He is always making all things new. 

“Oh El Roi… in Genesis we find you there as the God Who Sees. We are so thankful that you see us – just like you saw both Hagar and Sarah. One in her pain and desperation. The other in her moment of incredulous laughter. Thank you for meeting us both in that place of plenty and in the parched wilderness. 

We offer both to you, trusting in your loving kindness. Here in open hands we give you both our broken dreams and our most precious mom moments.

Help us to see with your eyes. To be conduits of your grace and mercy in other women’s stories. 

I’m so glad you made me a woman! I know I am part of a beautiful sisterhood and that we reflect your image as life givers. Thank you for creating us girls with the unique capacity to nurture life – whether we ever bear children or not.” 

Happy Mother’s Day, life givers. Your story is precious, and you are all breathtakingly beautiful in your design.

When God Says No {A New Wrinkle in Our Journey with Epilepsy}

April 5, 2017 by Shannon 8 Comments

Nothing could have prepared me for the moment when I watched my daughter fall to the floor in convulsions. Helpless dread sweeping over me, I tried to get across the room to her as I watched her smack her head against the desk and then crumple to the floor. Time stretched out before me as I moved to cradle her and roll her on her side until the seizing stopped. Gently I called out to her over and over again as if somehow I could bring her back to me. And, yet, for those 60 or so seconds – was it really only seconds? it felt like hours to this mamma’s heart – for those seconds, my girl was lost to me. Locked inside a fog in her own head, she couldn’t hear me or respond to my calling.

I don’t think I’ve ever been so scared in all my life.

When the convulsions stopped, she laid there so still. Although it was a welcome respite from the seizing, it was too still and quiet for my liking. I knew that she was still breathing but I had no idea how long it would take before she came back to me. How long would it be before her soft hands uncurled and her long, lean body relaxed and her beautiful, blue eyes opened? I didn’t know. We’d never done this before. Her seizures had always been the “staring spell” kind before.

I know I’ve never been so scared in all my life.

And, yet… God. He made us so that a sort of mommy-adrenaline kicks in and you remember things to do and not to do. Why did I remember to turn her on her side? I don’t know. I just did. A calm, action-taking rationale took over as left her alone for a moment to call 911. Though it was 4:45 in the morning, I remembered our hotel name and room number. I was able to recount silly details to the EMT.

It was just the two of us alone there for a dance competition. My husband was in another country. Her neurologist was over an hour away. And, yet, I didn’t freak out. The calm in my voice surprised me as I heard myself speak to her lovingly and reassuringly as she started to come-to. She was completely disoriented at first and then irrational for a time but I stayed composed. I didn’t lose it when I realized her blood was soaking my leggings from her head wound (she’d need 5 stitches in the back of her head to close it up) or that she’d bitten the heck out of her tongue. God was there with me, giving me speed and clarity as I packed up the room, loaded the car, and checked us out. As we raced across the turnpike to get to our neurologist, I finally realized how tense I had become when I looked down at my hand 45 minutes into the ride and saw that I was still clutching that stupid turnpike ticket instead of slipping it into the visor like usual.

It wasn’t until I was in my car hours later and she was all stitched up and we were headed home that I finally spoke with Rick. As he prayed with me from an orphanage in Costa Rica, I finally cried. There before our Father – miles apart but together in His holy presence – I cried with my husband and best-friend. Hot tears finally rolled down my cheeks, as I let God’s grace wash over me and sensed His nearness. “Not our will but Yours,” we told Him. We would trust Him in the days ahead even though everything about this sucked.

I’m still processing… as is my girl. And, Rick in Costa Rica. And, our son with him. We’re all trying to process it emotionally. As well, there are decisions to be made about our new normal. Medications and protocols and a 504 plan for the school, etc. Lots of unknowns. But there are a few things I can say with certainty in the midst of it.

  1. Being a Christian doesn’t mean we’re exempt from crappy things happening. We live in a fallen world that is in rebellion against the One who called it into existence. Just because we follow Him, doesn’t mean He will spare us from the realities of life here. That doesn’t change the fact that He loves us or that He is always perfectly good. We’ll keep asking Him to take this epilepsy away from our girl but if He doesn’t, we’ll assume that He will make something beautiful come out of all of it. Does that mean we won’t have doubts or questions or even feel mad at Him at times? Probably not. We’re wrestling with all of it. It’s not easy to accept when God’s answer is “no,” as it appears to be right now. But, we’ve got to wrestle in faith, mindful of Who He is. So, for now, we’re trusting that “the steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; His mercies never come to an end, they are new every morning.” It was true thousands of years ago when King Solomon first penned it and it’s true now.
  2. Having community around you makes all the difference in the world when crisis hits. Our church family is amazing. Seriously amazing. They have rallied around us in every way – both in word and in deed. Praying, encouraging us with kind words, providing meals, stopping by with smoothies since Mad needs soft foods while her tongue heals, running errands, coming to play games with Madison so I don’t have to leave her alone, listening to me process, etc. My own mom lives far away so my MIL readily dropped everything to come stay with us for a few days. My sisters are checking in often. My BIL’s family sent flowers to lift our spirits. It feels good to be wrapped up in that kind of love and warmth.
  3. There is a kind of surrender that happens when you realize you can’t control everything. This is the not the girls’ week that Mad and I had planned while our boys were gone. This is not the dance competition she had envisioned – she never even made it to the stage and her team had to adjust just hours before their performance. This is not the outcome we had expected in relation to her epilepsy. We thought she might be outgrowing her Absence Seizures. This new normal is not something I can control – medication will help but seizures happen and I can’t wrap my girl in a bubble to protect her from every possible outcome. I am NOT enough. Jesus is. And I will surrender my fears and hopes to Him, looking ahead to the joy set before me.
  4. Though I am the mom of an epileptic and there is much comfort in talking to other moms who are in the same boat, that is not my identity. My identity hasn’t changed. It is Adopted Daughter of God, Follower of Christ. My life will change some and I’ll have to manage my fears and realities, but this is not the primary thing that drives my life – or hers. We’ll add this thread to the complex, multi-colored fabric of our lives. But it’s just one more part, not the whole.
  5. Grief and emotional processing comes in waves. On the one hand, we’re all doing really well. On the other, we’re all wrestling with some strong emotions. It’s OK for us to take time to work through it all – especially Madison.

For now, we’re enjoying being wrapped in the warmth and love of the family and friends our good God has placed in our lives.

I’m So Glad You’re Here!

Thanks for stopping by my little corner of the internet! If you’re reading this, please know that I’d rather be sitting in my living room having cream tea with you and hearing YOUR story. But, for now, I hope mine will encourage you and spur you on in some small way. For more about me…

Let’s Connect!

  • Facebook
  • Instagram
  • Pinterest
  • Twitter

Get My Blog Posts in Your Inbox!

Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

My Insta Feed

ssmckee

Time to transition from Thanksgiving to Christmas Time to transition from Thanksgiving to Christmas over here… I love marking time and seasons. It has its own kind of beauty and comfort. #seasons #advent
Happy Thanksgiving from part of the McKee clan. (M Happy Thanksgiving from part of the McKee clan. (Miss you Rach and Caleb!) Reminded once again that we have lots to be grateful for. #givethanks #thanksgiving (credit to Xavier for the video)
What is something you tried or learned recently an What is something you tried or learned recently and want to carry forward? 
My answer is here on my latest substack (link in the profile).
Happy Sunday friends! May you find moments of wors Happy Sunday friends! May you find moments of worshipful rest and room for your soul to breathe. Sunday is my weekly, embodied reminder that my little world and its accompanying responsibilities aren’t dependent on me but on the God who holds all of it. I can rest because I am IN Him. His mercies are fresh for today!
Such a joy to walk with friends in support of this Such a joy to walk with friends in support of this dear one. We’re big fans of the whole Kaufman-Knabe-Hall clan.
“You, however, continue in the things you have l “You, however, continue in the things you have learned and become convinced of, knowing from Whom you have learned them; and that from childhood you have known the sacred writings which are able to give you the wisdom that leads to salvation through faith which is on Christ Jesus.” - Paul to his beloved brother in the faith, Timothy (And to me as I am preparing for our study of the ancient wisdom book of Proverbs this Fall. Join me? There are just a few more days left to register.) #proverbs #fallbiblestudy
Porchrokr could have been a bust but we made the b Porchrokr could have been a bust but we made the best of it!! Fun to see a bunch of our peeps there to support TJ, @andrewcappuzzello , @brath3 , and @rath.brian in Shelby Olive’s band. #lifeisanadventure #porchrokr
It was a magical afternoon dining al fresco on the It was a magical afternoon dining al fresco on the homestead of my dear friend Carla. Surrounded by beautiful flowers and bounty from her gardens, we ate good, nourishing food, laughed hard, and shared a bit of life.
 
These are the staff women and the wives of the men in our Redemption Chapel staff family. We all love being together. I can’t get over the things God does in our midst. Earlier in the day, I listened to person after person tell a newcomer to our team how much they feel loved and cared for on this team. How different it is from anything else they’ve ever experienced because we really care about each other beyond the tasks at hand.
 
My heart feels full as I look back on all of it.  
 
#grateful #redemptionchapel #sidedoorfarm. (photos taken by me, Kelly Mabee, and Crystal McCann)
When your baker friend makes you a birthday treat When your baker friend makes you a birthday treat and you’ve been saving them all day. And it’s finally time. Oh the anticipation… And, also, how sad will it be when they’re gone? Sigh.
We’re in our wedding era… attending all of our We’re in our wedding era… attending all of our kids’ and friends’ kids’ weddings.
Follow on Instagram

Search This Blog

Copyright © 2025 · Beautiful Pro Theme on Genesis Framework · WordPress · Log in