I’m a self-confessed book junkie. It’s sort of ridiculous really. I like just walking into a library and running my hands along rows and rows of book spines. I’ve been known to drool a little bit when Rick brings a new book home or to just go stand in his office near his shelves. And, everytime a new book review splashes across my Facebook feed, I am tempted to buy it.
The trouble is, everybody and their brother is writing a book these days. There is a constant, overly flooded stream of new stuff to read. Somewhere along the line, I started to realize that I was letting the pace of new books coming out dictate what I was reading. I also realized that a lot of what I was reading was based around a topic of the day. I decided that wasn’t the best approach for my reading time.
Rather, I want to own my reading list. Me. Not the savvy mom-blogger who is launching her latest book or pushing her friend’s new book. Not the pop-culture book that everyone else is talking about. Just me. I want to own it. I want to be intentional with it. I want to read books that challenge me or make me think more deeply.
When I decided to make 2016 a year of soul tending, I chose a year’s worth of non-fiction books that would help me with that goal. Books that would get at the deeper places of my heart. Books that would push me toward investing in my inner life.
I was a little ambitious with my list and I don’t know if I’ll get through all of them. Probably not. (If you only knew how many books I considered but didn’t put on the list!) But, I’m OK with it. Because I own the list. The list doesn’t own me.
Here’s what I’ve been working on so far:
I finished Soul Keeping by John Ortberg several weeks ago. Mostly it’s a collection of reflections taken from things Ortberg learned from his mentor, Dallas Willard. And, Willard (who has since gone home to be with Jesus) knew how to tend to his soul. He offers much wisdom for us to glean. For me, this book was a perfect first book of 2016. I was refreshed and inspired and hopeful as I contemplated my inner life. I think I underlined half the book. It’s one I’ll return to over and over again, I’m sure.
The basic premise won’t be surprising to you. It’s the idea that the health of my soul isn’t just a matter of being saved or unsaved. I’m saved. Have been for 30-plus years. That’s a settled issue, thanks to Jesus’ grace. But, my saved soul wasn’t just restored with a view toward eternity – out there, someday. God wants to satisfy my soul now. Today. In the nitty gritty of this life.
The big takeaway for me on a practical level? This thought: I and no one else am responsible for the condition of my soul. I must arrange my days so that I am experiencing deep contentment, joy, and confidence in my everyday life with God. I can’t wait for perfect circumstances or a new phase with the kids or a completed to-do list or a different job or more time or more money or more anything. I can’t wait for others to care for my soul. Not my husband or my pastor or my community group leader or my friends. Hopefully they will love me and encourage me and hold me accountable but it’s not their job to tend my soul. By God’s sanctifying Spirit at work within me, I am the keeper of my soul.
Which leads me to the other two books I’m reading right now: Habits of Grace by David Mathis and Crafting a Rule of Life by Stephen A. Macchia. If Soul Keeping was the inspiration and foundation for my year, these two books are the practical outworking of what that could look like. They help me put flesh on this idea of tending to my soul – something often referred to as the spiritual disciplines. Basically, I’m asking myself what things I’m going to do or not do to make sure I’m experiencing deep contentment and joy with God? If I truly believe my soul is the most important part of me, how will I care for it? I’m a chapter into Habits of Grace and I don’t want to put it down. It’s really excellent. I’ve only barely cracked into Crafting a Rule of Life and I can’t tell what I think of it yet. I do like that it’s a workbook that I’ll interact with.
What about fiction, you say? Well, I’m not getting to much fiction lately. Not because I don’t think it’s valuable. It is. But because I just have limited time right now. So, I’ve taken to listening to audio books as I fold laundry or travel in the car or work out. I’ve listened to a few well-crafted, insightful stories… but, I can tell you about those another time.
How about you? What’s on your nightstand lately? Why?
And I wondered in that moment, is it possible for me to do what needs done in life (because, let’s face it, there IS a lot that needs done) but still have a posture of sitting with Jesus? An inclination of letting Him tend my heart/soul? Could I create rhythms and focus in my day in order to give space for God’s grace to drill down deeper? And, in addition to creating more of that space, could I even begin to trust God to turn my ordinary tasks into sacred moments lived unto Him?