Shannon S. McKee

musings and moments

Taking Time for Preparation and Reflection

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Today is the first day of Lent. I’ve never been part of a church that stuck to a strict liturgical calendar and I’ve never fasted from anything for the 40 days of Lent. But, I can appreciate the benefit of some of the reminders like Ash Wednesday and I certainly want to prepare my heart for the greatest earthly celebration of all celebrations – Resurrection Sunday. I’ll be using the next 40 days as time for additional pause and reflection. As God, in His sovereignty, would have it, Lent comes at a perfect time for me in life. I am in a season of longing and brokenness so this steady march toward the cross and the prayerful reflection on the beauty of Christ’s profound work is exactly what I need right now.

Each year, I try different approaches to this time. Last year, I was exhausted, distracted, and barely prepared for the Easter season at all. So, there’s no surefire, magical potion or legalistic regulation about how you have to use this time. In fact, there is no Biblical mandate at all about how you observe the next 40 days. The point is His grace toward us in Christ – not any ritual or sacrifice that WE can make for Him. As if He needs anything from us. He did the work already – ours is simply to respond to Him.

But, if your response to Him means you’d like to do something during this time, you can join me in doing the She Reads Truth Lenten Study, You Are Mine – it’s a study through the book of Isaiah. You can do it online for free or download the app for a few dollars. I ordered the book this time because I really am a pen and paper sort of gal. Plus, the design is pretty and that wins some bonus points in my heart. {wink}

This morning’s reading is still rattling around in my heart as I consider the heavy cost that accompanies sin and rebellion. And, yet… white as snow. He washes us. White as the new fallen snow. Breathtaking. I am in awe.

p.s. – if you go to my church and are already studying the book of Mark with 200 other amazing women on Monday nights, please finish strong there. (It is, after all, a book about Jesus and His work on the Cross!) You can do what I am doing and do two studies for a few weeks; or you can wait and start preparing your heart for Easter after that study is over in a couple more weeks. Remember, there’s nothing magical about it being 40 days. Do what will help you walk more intimately with your Savior and Lord. Isn’t freedom great? 

Sneaking Back…

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In recent days, I’ve been slipping quietly back onto Facebook. A status “like” here. A photo peek there. As I return to this place, I come cautious and with a renewed vision.

Cautious because I know how it has affected me in the past. How it became a time-waster for me. How it turned my guts inside out as I fretted over the things people were posting – as if we all need to be yelled at and convinced instead of the honest give-and-take of real dialogue. How easy it is to mock or complain or caricature when you don’t have to look the other person in the eye and consider that they are real, living souls with a history and unique perspective and… feelings. How weary I’d grown of yet another venue that is trying to sell me stuff. How it can be a place of comparison and coveting between friends.

With renewed vision because it offers a kind of connection to people that I really do like. I missed the little peeks at what people were up to or the memories from previous years. I missed seeing posts reflecting on what people thought after church on Sunday or other local events. There are the thoughtful posts too – the ones offered to inform or truly create dialogue. And, of course, there are my “This Is Us” peeps and the groups to which I belong. It really CAN be a place of community and sharing. In fact, just this week there was a call to prayer from a dear college friend whose husband’s heart stopped beating this weekend. She lives in Florida and we aren’t tight enough that I would have known so quickly if not for Facebook.

So I’m sneaking back…

But, not without some change. These words, penned by Paul of Tarsus all those hundreds of years ago, will be my guiding principle for the things that I post or discuss there:

Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.

These are words he gives the church at Philippi. In their context, they are couched in exhortations not to worry but instead to rejoice in all things and let the peace of God guard our hearts. Turns out, things haven’t changed much in 2,000 years. We still need reminded to set our hearts on things that really matter and not get consumed by anxiety about the world around us.

Join me? Let’s go on a joy search today – basking in whatever is true, honorable, just, pure, lovely, and commendable!

In Which Grammy and Spurgeon have Tea

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As I climb the steps, I can hear her call down, “Is that you, Shannie?” How many times have I scrambled up these steps? With my cousins to leave a note on the attic steps for the ghost-in-residence. To follow her up and watch while she put her jewelry on – her choosing from those colorful clip-on earrings that always laid in the antique, mirrored tray. To help her with some project around the house – she taught me how to use newspaper to clean the windows one summer. To sit at the window and pepper her with questions about why I wasn’t allowed to go out onto the first-floor roof from there.

We’re not doing projects today. And, while I still think their attic is one of the most magical places on earth, there’s also no visit to the third floor. I’m just there to sit and chat while Grandad runs some errands and she gets going.

She’s slower in the mornings now. Her 90+ years are finally catching up with her and she just doesn’t move as fast anymore. Raised to be a strong, independent woman, she finds herself now in a season of dependence and I know it’s hard for her. In fact, I have to keep myself from doing things for her if she can still do them for herself. I wait while she takes her sweatshirt off even though I know I could do it faster for her.

The waiting is good though – in this world of fast-paced everything where the to-do list rules the day. Not so when I come see Grammy and Grandad. The slow pace forces me to just “see” her. Not for what she can do but for who she IS. This beloved woman who has been through so much in her life. She is a treasured storehouse of memories and moments and musings. And, because there is no real agenda to our time, she just talks about whatever comes to mind. In one moment, she is showing me how she rolls up her sweatshirt every morning and lays it on her shelf. In the next, she is sharing with me about the loving, sacrificial way Grandad is caring for her in this season of life. She pauses while a sweet smile plays across her face. Is that contentment I see? And, in another moment, her reflection turns to Spurgeon. “He says that it’s easy to forget God when we are satisfied here on earth. I sure know that I’m talking to God more than ever these days. I know how much I need Him just to have the strength to walk across the room. I think Spurgeon was right, you know. He had such insights.”

And just like that our conversation turns to heaven and how Spurgeon is already there. Face-to-face with his Lord. And what a joy that must be after serving God so faithfully all those years. And, I’m mindful that she’ll likely be joining Spurgeon there sooner than later. And I let my mind drift to wondering if these two might cross paths there – Grammy and Spurgeon having tea while she tells him how his writings brought her comfort and reflection during her twilight years. I dare to express the thought to her and she laughs. “Just maybe…” she ponders aloud.

I can’t stay all day. She wouldn’t want me to because she likes her space and has her routines to get to. But, these moments fill me up in ways that surprise me. As I lean down to kiss the top of her snowy white head, a rush of gratitude envelopes me – not just for all the years she has cared for all of us but for this moment right now.

I’m not sure how often I am truly, fully present in the moment but this is definitely one of those times.

When Facebook Gets to Be a Little Much

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A few days ago, I hit my breaking point and decided I needed to take a break from time on Facebook. Honestly, I think I was on there too much anyway and had been feeling the nudge to dial back for months. Alas, sometimes a nudge isn’t enough and you just need a full-on smack upside the head. On that ill-fated Wednesday, I discovered that God is kind enough to give you what you need when you ignore the nudge for too long.  It resulted in a bit of an ugly cry… but it worked and I’m so glad it did.

My last three days off Facebook have been so freeing. Here’s what’s been happening since I got off Facebook:

  • I’m thinking and reflecting instead of reacting.
  • I’m praying instead of worrying and fretting.
  • I’m talking with people close to me and seeking to develop a Biblical grid regarding the current political climate – not a Republican grid or a Democratic grid.
  • I’m not getting drawn into the rantings of others – whether I agree or disagree with them. Which means I’m taking control of what I’m thinking about, not letting everyone else set that agenda for me.
  • I’m not feeling the need to correct or balance someone else’s viewpoint when (let’s be honest) most of the time they’re not really looking for dialogue anyway.
  • I’m finding other things to do. Like reading more. And baking chocolate chip cookies for my family.
  • I’m not checking my phone as much because the dang Facebook app is no longer there. Did you know that you can just delete that puppy right off your phone? Wonder of wonders. You can. For real. There’s this sweet little “x” that you can just hit and “poof,” it’s gone.
  • I’m not wasting my time sifting through false information or memes that have half-truths or illogical, strawman arguments.
  • I’m blogging and writing again. Which is what I’ve been saying I want to do anyway – for months now. (Enter God and His way of nudging a little harder when we ignore Him.)
  • I’m reflecting on the role of social media in my life. I don’t serve it. Rather, it needs to serve me and the woman I want to be. If it doesn’t do that, I need to either reapproach it or cut it out.

There are things I miss, for sure. Like my California cousin’s quips and her cute kid pics. Or my friend Marc’s photos.

I don’t think Facebook is all bad. I’ll probably be back in March. Although, that’s up the Lord and what He does in my heart this month.

But, I do know that for me, at this time, a full-on break was my clear way forward. Unfollowing or blocking people wasn’t going to cut it. I have thoughts about the rhetoric and hypocrisy I was beginning to see there. I think I’ll probably share those thoughts at some point but not until I’ve had time to really think about it and can be sure that it will add to the conversation in a meaningful way that edifies and builds.

In the meantime, I’m studying the Gospel of Mark with 200 other women at my church. And, I’m struck by the way Jesus always cut through the crap to the real, heart issue. He does it over and over again. He knew our deepest need was for Him – not for politics or religion or even physical healing. Just Him and the true heart-healing only He can bring.

p.s. – if you comment to this post on FB, I won’t see it. Because… you know… I’m not on there much right now. So, commenting on the blog would be a better route if it’s something you want me to see. {wink}