Yes, I’ve heard of the controversy over this video from Gillette. It makes me sad.
First, my credentials: I’m a man. By most accounts, a very masculine man. And proud of it. Throughout my ministry, God has allowed me to gather manly men and train them up in the Lord. I tend to be conservative, both politically and theologically. I’m complementarian – embracing male leadership in the home and church as outlined in the Bible. By all accounts, I’m incredibly pro-masculinity. And I LOVED THIS VIDEO.
In fact, one thing that totally moved me was the idea of men training boys to be men. I loved this line: “because the boys watching today will be the men of tomorrow.” That’s laden with challenge, put up or shut up, caught not taught, your example matters. Truth.
The video is against TOXIC masculinity, not masculinity per se. It seemed to focus on the mistreatment of women and on bullying. I think those are bad things, right? They do exist in our world, right? And, sometimes they are given a pass with an eye roll and a “boys will be boys.” In contrast, this video calls men to call men to a higher version of being men. I’m struggling to see why that is a bad thing.
Is there a fallen version of masculinity that plagues this fallen world? YES. It’s been around for thousands of years, and I’ve been a part of it. I still need to wrestle it out of my soul all the time. Is there a very manly version of masculinity that is God-honoring? YES. Just look at Jesus, the biggest stud of all time. He possessed the strength of God, but restrained by meekness, character and love, then channeled toward the good of others, particularly the weak and oppressed, at great sacrifice to himself. Stud.
I’m pro-masculinity that looks like Jesus. I’m anti-toxic, fallen, sinful masculinity. Of course, I could say that about almost anything – femininity, government, churches, church leadership, etc. Pro on the godly version; anti on the fallen version.
Christians, don’t adopt your reactions from shock jocks and reactionary internet personalities. We adopt our reactions from the Word of God. What God calls sin, we call sin.
If you have your knickers in a twist over this video, perhaps “thou doth protest too much.” Are you perhaps a part of the toxic masculinity, feeling convicted and defensive? That’s for you to decide. I have no idea. Maybe you’re just feeling this last thought…
There is a hint of cultural concern here. Why is a video that calls out TOXIC masculinity being met with such venom? It’s because of the assumption that all men are bad, all men are guilty. I don’t find that assumption in the video. But, it is in our culture. And I think the negative reactions to this video is an indication of that. Yes, we need to call out toxic masculinity. But, for too long our culture has bashed masculinity itself. Yes, men are different from women. Yes, we are often rough and tumble. And, so as long as masculinity is seen as a problem, good videos against toxic masculinity will be met with defensiveness.
Rick McKee is the Lead Pastor at Redemption Chapel in Stow, Ohio. And my husband. So, its OK that I called him the Hottie, Manly Pastor Dude. Perks of being the PW.