Shannon S. McKee

musings and moments

Amidst the Mess of Twisted Coathangers and Disconnected Doorknobs

by Leave a Comment

FJournalor the last month or so, I have been steeped in the book of Judges as I prepare to teach it to 200 or so God-hungry women at our church this Fall. It is not exactly what you would call a happy read. Definitely not happy.

In fact, it is raw and jarring. Like rated-R kind of jarring. At points, I’ve even found it to be a bit disconcerting as I seek to wrap my head and heart around some of what goes on. In a nutshell, it is the recording of what happened when “everyone did what was right in his own eyes.” In fact, the text tells us that “the sons of Israel did what was evil in the sight of I AM and forgot the I AM, their God.”

As I’ve wrestled through it, I’ve been struck by the reality that it’s not just a recording of Israel’s story back then. It’s our story today. Certainly it’s our culture’s story – we live in a world that has collectively forgotten God.

But, it’s not just the culture out there. It’s right here in me at times. It’s my story. I forget God. Or, at least I sure act like I have.

In the midst of that realization, I took great comfort in this passage from Dale Davis’ commentary on Judges:

Here we are – some in family situations we have messed up; some in emotional trauma; some in grief and sorrow or in the clutches of temptation. Life seems to be a mass of twisted coathangers and disconnected doorknobs. And the glory of this text is that Yahweh is not a white-gloved, standoffish God out somewhere in the remote left field of the universe who hesitates to get his strong right arm dirty in the yuck of our lives.

The God of the Bible does not hold back in the wild blue yonder somewhere waiting for you to pour Clorox and spray Lysol over the affairs of your life before he will touch it.

Whether you can comfortably put it together or not, he is the God who delights to deliver his people even in their messes and likes to make them laugh again; he is the God who allows weeping to endure for a night but sees that joy comes in the morning.”

Amen and praise God for getting into the yuck with us. I hope that encourages you as much as it does this soul-tending girl.

p.s. – if you are a woman who goes to our church and haven’t registered for Judges yet, I don’t know what you’re waiting for. {wink} Our Monday evening women’s Bible studies are transformational and refreshing. Here’s a link just in case. 

Sometimes it Gets Ugly When Expectation and Reality Meet

by Leave a Comment

2016When I declared 2016 to be my year of the soul, I was imagining something peaceful and reflective. A year full of contemplative moments. Days dripping with meaning and contentment. With candles and depthy, soul-stirring music accompanying me at every turn.

What I did not anticipate were more of the ugly cries than my usual. I did not expect to have my heart so bound up by the lives of some tiny people in Costa Rica. Or that I’d be so overwhelmed by the plight of women and children all over the globe even though I don’t believe feminism has the answers to their angst.  I didn’t think I’d wrestle so much with issues of my own calling and vocation. I did not anticipate wondering if I could handle another second of mothering or growing so stinkin’ weary of making yet another meal for my family. No one told me that I might stress-eat a whole bag of Dark-Chocolate Milanos because raising two very strong-willed teenagers is scary and hard when your soul is engaged in the whole ordeal. Or that I’d have terrifying moments of wondering if God really meant it when He made me the p-dub (pastor’s wife) or if I should really be the one leading our precious church’s women’s ministry. You could never have told me that I’d leave my Bible closed for a few weeks at a time and just want to play Sudoku on my iPad instead.

I didn’t expect to feel so raw and exposed. And want to run from that. Not what I expected at all, actually.

As if a person could really tend to the garden of her soul without getting dirt under her fingernails.

There are many outward forces that can render a garden fruitless. Crushing storms and hungry critters and root-killing pests all threaten the health of a garden. I know this to be true – literally and figuratively. I even sort of expect them to come in this sin-stained world of ours. I have even trained my mind and heart to be on guard against them. But, there are also inward forces. Weeds that have been left to grow hidden and unchecked. Or, worse yet, that have broken off at the surface but not been pulled out at the root. Invasive vines that intertwine themselves with the good plants. Depleted soil that hasn’t been cultivated, fed or watered.candles (1)

It has been these inward things that are the source of my surprise and angst. I’m not sure there’s any easy, painless way to deal with those. Deeply rooted weeds don’t get yanked out without some digging and disturbing of the soil. Removing invasive vines can leave a barren spot in the garden or render a good plant weak for a time.

So, my year of the soul has been much harder than I expected it to be. I’m not saying it’s been bad or that I want take-backs. It’s been profoundly good. In the eternal, God’s economy kind of way.

Thankfully, I’m not toiling over my soul garden alone. Never alone. I’m cooperating with the Master Gardner. Yes, sanctification is a joint affair. I am tending to my soul by working out my salvation with fear and trembling. But, He superintends the work, pouring out streams of living water for the withered plants and cultivating the soil that surrounds them. He supplies what I need to say “no” to another bag of Milanos. His mercies are new every single day when I feel like I don’t have what it takes to mother or be the p-dub. He feeds me through His Word, speaking grace and mercy over my soul. He supplies me with a husband and an abundance of dear friends who know me and speak truth to me and laugh with me and pray for me. He surrounds me with stories of redemption so that I do not lose focus on the bigger, kingdom-sized picture.

And, sometimes, He gives me candles and peaceful moments in beautiful spaces, too. Because He’s just like that.

The Keeper of the Stream – A Parable

by Leave a Comment

There once was a town high in the Alps that straddled the banks of a beautiful stream. The stream was fed by the springs that were old as the earth and deep as the sea.

The water was clear like crystal. Children laughed and played beside it; swans and geese swam on it. You could see the rocks and the sand the rainbow trout that swarmed at the bottom of the stream.

High in the hills, far beyond anyone’s sight, lived an old man who served as Keeper of the Springs. He had been hired so long ago now that no one could remember a time when he wasn’t there. He would travel from one spring to another in the hills, removing branches or fallen leaves or debris that might pollute the water. But his work was unseen.Munroe Falls Metro Park, Indian Spring Trail

One year the town council decided they had better things to do with their money. No one supervised the old man anyway. They had roads to repair and taxes to collect and services to offer, and giving to an unseen stream-cleaner had become a luxury they could no longer afford.

So the old man left his post. High in the mountains, the springs went untended; twigs and branches and worse muddied the liquid flow. Mud and salt compacted the creek bed; farm wastes turned parts of the stream into stagnant bogs.

For a time, no one in the village noticed. But after a while the water was not the same. It began to look brackish. The swans flew away to live elsewhere. The water no longer had the crisp scent that drew the children to play by it. Some people in the town began to grow ill. All noticed the loss of the sparkling beauty that used to flow between the banks of the streams that fed the town. The life of the village depended on the stream, and the life of the stream depended on the keeper.

2016The city council reconvened, the money was found, the old man was rehired. After yet another time, the springs were cleaned, the stream was pure, children played again on its banks, illness was replaced by health, the swans came home, and the village came back to life.

The life of the village depended on the health of the stream.

The stream is your soul. And you are the keeper.

(taken from John Ortberg’s book, Soul Keeping)

What I’m Reading

by 2 Comments

I’m a self-confessed book junkie. It’s sort of ridiculous really. I like just walking into a library and running my hands along rows and rows of  book spines. I’ve been known to drool a little bit when Rick brings a new book home or to just go stand in his office near his shelves. And, everytime a new book review splashes across my Facebook feed, I am tempted to buy it.

The trouble is, everybody and their brother is writing a book these days. There is a constant, overly flooded stream of new stuff to read. Somewhere along the line, I started to realize that I was letting the pace of new books coming out dictate what I was reading. I also realized that a lot of what I was reading was based around a topic of the day. I decided that wasn’t the best approach for my reading time.IMG_4355

Rather, I want to own my reading list. Me. Not the savvy mom-blogger who is launching her latest book or pushing her friend’s new book. Not the pop-culture book that everyone else is talking about. Just me. I want to own it. I want to be intentional with it. I want to read books that challenge me or make me think more deeply.

When I decided to make 2016 a year of soul tending, I chose a year’s worth of non-fiction books that would help me with that goal. Books that would get at the deeper places of my heart. Books that would push me toward investing in my inner life.

I was a little ambitious with my list and I don’t know if I’ll get through all of them. Probably not. (If you only knew how many books I considered but didn’t put on the list!) But, I’m OK with it. Because I own the list. The list doesn’t own me.

Here’s what I’ve been working on so far:

I finished Soul Keeping by John Ortberg several weeks ago. Mostly it’s a collection of reflections taken from things Ortberg learned from his mentor, Dallas Willard. And, Willard (who has since gone home to be with Jesus) knew how to tend to his soul. He offers much wisdom for us to glean. For me, this book was a perfect first book of 2016. I was refreshed and inspired and hopeful as I contemplated my inner life. I think I underlined half the book. It’s one I’ll return to over and over again, I’m sure.

The basic premise won’t be surprising to you. It’s the idea that the health of my soul isn’t just a matter of being saved or unsaved. I’m saved. Have been for 30-plus years. That’s a settled issue, thanks to Jesus’ grace. But, my saved soul wasn’t just restored with a view toward eternity – out there, someday. God wants to satisfy my soul now. Today. In the nitty gritty of this life.

The big takeaway for me on a practical level? This thought: I and no one else am responsible for the condition of my soul. I must arrange my days so that I am experiencing deep contentment, joy, and confidence in my everyday life with God. I can’t wait for perfect circumstances or a new phase with the kids or a completed to-do list or a different job or more time or more money or more anything. I can’t wait for others to care for my soul. Not my husband or my pastor or my community group leader or my friends. Hopefully they will love me and encourage me and hold me accountable but it’s not their job to tend my soul. By God’s sanctifying Spirit at work within me, I am the keeper of my soul.

Which leads me to the other two books I’m reading right now: Habits of Grace by David Mathis and Crafting a Rule of Life by Stephen A. Macchia. If Soul Keeping was the inspiration and foundation for my year, these two books are the practical outworking of what that could look like. They help me put flesh on this idea of tending to my soul – something often referred to as the spiritual disciplines. Basically, I’m asking myself what things I’m going to do or not do to make sure I’m experiencing deep contentment and joy with God? If I truly believe my soul is the most important part of me, how will I care for it? I’m a chapter into Habits of Grace and I don’t want to put it down. It’s really excellent. I’ve only barely cracked into Crafting a Rule of Life and I can’t tell what I think of it yet. I do like that it’s a workbook that I’ll interact with.

What about fiction, you say? Well, I’m not getting to much fiction lately. Not because I don’t think it’s valuable. It is. But because I just have limited time right now. So, I’ve taken to listening to audio books as I fold laundry or travel in the car or work out. I’ve listened to a few well-crafted, insightful stories… but, I can tell you about those another time.

How about you? What’s on your nightstand lately? Why?