My Lament and an Exhortation to a Better Way

My heart is heavy today. I am deeply and profoundly concerned about the tone I see on social media right now. Friends, we are NOT following Jesus during this tumultuous time. Plain and simple.

In a thread this week, I saw one of our RC leaders get called an a$$hole and a piece of sh1t because he asked a question in response to an article related to a protest and a gun issue. In another thread, I was compared to a drunk driver because I don’t wear a mask 100% of the time in public spaces. In another thread, I saw a black woman get told that the civil rights movement was over and that she should basically quit whining and get on with life. I have heard of people legit leaving their churches because of the way George Floyd or COVID was handled by church leadership. I follow The Gospel Coalition on FB and I am shocked at the comment threads below the articles lately – sometimes about things as small as which movie should be included in a list that the blog author had created!! I read one post recently – thinly veiled but clearly directed at a local pastor – that was snarky in tone. In most of these cases, there is no face to face conversation. There is no listening or sharing concerns. No teachability or willingness to reconsider. There is no valuing each other with dignity and honor as fellow heirs of the grace of life.

All of what I mentioned above are in CHRISTIAN contexts. We’re not talking about the world here. We’re talking about the church. We’re talking about Christians who are so eager to make their point on debatable issues (as opposed to gospel issues) that they are willing to violate the clear teaching of Scripture and treat a brother or sister in Christ poorly. Instead of grace and love and mercy, I see haughtiness and pride and unbending. I see condescending assumptions/tones being made all over the place. I see sin. Friends, this ought not be.

I believe that Satan is using this unique time to divide and splinter and scar the Body of Christ. RC is just one part of His Body. But, before COVID-19 hit, we were a vibrant, growing church. Not a perfect church by any means. A church full of messy people and flawed leaders. But there was joy and calling and a clear sense of God’s activity among us. We were about His kingdom and in it together. By God’s grace, so far much of that is still true. We are still a growing church and there is much love when we are together. But, I fear that politics, COVID, and culture wars are becoming the focus among our people.

You see, because we’re not together in person very often anymore, we’re not believing the best about each other. When we argue with someone on FB on Friday but then see them juggling their kids and/or foster kids as they tromp into church on Sunday, we remember that we actually really love them and appreciate so many things about them. The disagreement on Friday gets put in its proper place – in the context of a greater relationship where we actually agree about so much of the important stuff. But, when we can’t see each other (because we’re in a time where we need to social distance and isolate) and we’re living in an environment of constant fear where the media is our arbitrator of truth, that small argument becomes the focus. It consumes us and eats at us. It’s all we can see about the person.

The end result is that we allow ourselves to be divided into camps/tribes – masks vs no masks, lockdown vs life as usual, impeach Dewine vs love DeWine, Trump vs Biden, BLM vs cops, back to school vs keep them at home, immigration reform vs open borders, and on and on it goes. The truth is there are nuances and middle grounds and a sliding scale to many of these camps/positions. But, that doesn’t even matter. What matters is that we DO agree about Jesus, His Word, the beauty of His Gospel and redemption stories, His creation and His imagebearers, His church, His glory, His imminent return and our future home with Him. Why would we break fellowship with or be hurtful toward people with whom we share these truths?

If I dutifully mask up and keep my family safe from the virus, but I stomp on the heart of another Christian on FB, have I won or lost? If my candidate wins in the Fall, but I have made those people my tribe instead of the people who love Jesus along with me, have I won or lost? If I decide to homeschool my kids this year but I use FB to ridicule hardworking but concerned teachers and thoughtful parents who chose not to do the same, have I won or lost? I believe that I have lost because I have forsaken the weightier matters in favor of my own personal take on a passing issue or even worse, my own personal preference on how something should be handled.

A Better Way

So, let me pause and encourage you toward a better way: fix your eyes on Jesus. Get it off COVID or Trump or Dewine or BLM or opening the Ohio economy or masks or any of it. Get it on Jesus. Our beautiful Creator, Sustainer, and Savior. Worship Him. And, pray. Go to Him. Get some time alone to wrap your heart around whatever is concerning you during this time – oftentimes our response to things is based in fear or hurt or legitimate concern. Most of us are not setting out to be brats when we post on FB – we’re just responding to something else deep within. In your time of reflection, identify what that is and then identify if it is a legitimate fear or if it is rooted in lies. Emotions are emotions. They just are. But the thing underneath the surface that is fueling them may or may not be valid.

After you do that, you might find that your fear or hurt or concern is causing you to act a certain way or dislike someone who is threatening your world with their words or policies. In the book of Proverbs, the Bible says it is a glory to overlook an offense. Does this situation fall into that category? Can it be overlooked? If so, bring it before the Lord and truly let it go by putting it into His hands.

If not, you might need to talk directly to that someone – perhaps their comments or positions on SM have wounded you or concerned you to a degree that you can’t just let it go. Then, go talk to them. In person. Don’t post it on FB as a thinly veiled rebuke. Don’t be passive aggressive. Have an actual conversation. Ask questions. Listen to the answers. Consider. Be humble where you need to be humble. Heal where you can bring healing. Be more concerned about sanctification and holiness than being right – for you and for the other person. If it’s not a sin issue, you might find that you still disagree on the actual issue but that talking helps you understand motive and context. It’s totally OK if you both love God, His Word, and people but disagree about whether Summit County should be in the red zone or not. It is. Just because you feel strongly about that one way or the other doesn’t mean you need to lash out at your Jesus-loving friends. Of course, you believe your position is the right one – otherwise you wouldn’t hold it! But, there is nothing in the Bible that says we have to agree about every possible application of every gray area. In fact, Romans 14 encourages us NOT to judge each other’s hearts over such matters. A friend’s words reminded me of 2 Timothy, where the Apostle Paul states multiple times how the church should not engage in “foolish and stupid arguments” that lead to nothing.

As a side note, you might find that you can’t do this AND remain on social media. If that is the case, give up social media. It’s not worth it – to your own soul and for the sake of your relationships. Either figure out how you can live there healthfully with good boundaries or give it up – whether that is a fast for a set period of time or an all out deleting your accounts.

If we fix our eyes on Jesus, hold loosely to our own preferences/ideas/opinions, and fiercely love our brothers and sisters, Satan’s attack to derail our church and the testimony of the whole wide Body of Christ, gets thwarted. And then we truly win. Even if we lose the smaller FB clash or even the larger culture war.

And keep your trust in the One place that is worthy. Do not trust in the Ohio constitution. Or in masking up. Or in your candidate getting elected. Or in school boards. None of those deserve your faith and hope. Even if we “beat COVID”, something else will come along to challenge us. You might avoid COVID, keep your family totally safe, and then find out your child has a tumor the next week. Instead of putting your hope in that which cannot save you, trust that the Spirit of God is at work – even in your friends with whom you disagree. Let Him do His work in His time.

And, in the meantime, be kind. We can do better, church. And we should.